I had this thought today while walking back to my car from a doctor’s appointment.
I always wondered if someone told me that I have a year before I leave this world, what would my reaction be?
Will I break down and cry?
Or will I be glad?
Will I finally be able to say f* the world and do things I always wanted to do but was afraid of being judged?
Will I maintain what I am doing now?
Or will I go crazy and do things I never think I would do?
For some reason, I always think of this question every time I receive a report from the doctor or every time I read of a young soul gone too soon. No guys, I am not going to die.
But sometimes we like to think and assume that we are invincible, that we will always get a chance to do that something again. We take for granted that we will definitely wake up again the next morning and that we will see that individual again. And that we can still say our ‘I love you’s and ‘sorry’s.
But life is unpredictable.
Will I leave this world holding on to too much baggage? Is there baggage that should have been put down long ago? Or is there baggage that clouds my current reality and hence, prevents me from reigning in life?
Baggage can be a past hurt, an emotion, a vengeful heart and even a friend.
I remember reading this somewhere before. The author said, “will it matter in 5 years?”. This is something that helped me keep myself in check. Will getting pissed off at a certain person matter in 5 years?
Or for the matter, will losing and cutting this person off my life now matter in 5 years time?
Maybe cutting them off for the better?
Maybe lesser toxic friends are better?
Maybe I need to spend less time with people who are just obsessed with themselves and no one else?
Another question is, what is important to me?
2014 has been a year of letting go. Letting go of hurt, of pride, of friendships and of past failures and expectations.
At my age, seeing all my peers receiving their keys to their first million dollar condos and fancy cars, or getting married and spending 30 to 40 thousand bucks on one day, it is easy to feel underachieving and shitty. OH the shitty feeling.
But I learnt that it is important to set my goals right. My OWN goals. And my own goals are different from yours, and yours to everyone else.
Being debt free is important to me.
Being passionate about what I do is important to me.
Surrounding myself with like minded people is important to me.
Living without regrets and broken dreams are important to me.
Self-identity is important to me.
Trying to make this world a happier place is important to me.
But at the end of the day, you look at life and tell yourself, hey, it’s not too bad! It could have been better, but I am okay! I think that’s all that matters.
So remember! Will it all matter in 5 years time? Will the bad feedback from work today matter in 5 years time? Will getting pissed at the bloody driver for cutting you off on the road matter in 5 years time?
Sure go ahead and be pissed and upset. But if it does not matter in 5 years time, it’s time to concentrate on things that will matter! =) But maybe I am an idealist! HAHA
Love and blessings,